Harry goes to the Doctor
by Happiness is A Virtue
Summary: James and Sirius take Harry to the Doctor ... a muggle doctor, so Why is Sirius dressed like a cowboy with pink hair and what does the doctor have to that makes Sirius and James speachless.


Disclaimer: I Don't Own It. The person who does writes much, much, much, much better than I.

Don't kill me if it sucks I went to the doctor the other day and it popped into my head and I couldn't help but write it. I think it's a bit cute myself …

A small warning there's a spot in here when some one suggests that James and Sirius are gay and together but this story is not slash and that part is meant to be humorous and I'm sorry if I offend you. Also I am aware that Lily and James would most likely be in hiding around this time but … oh well

Harry Goes to the Doctor

" Harry has to go to the doctor today, James." Said Lily walking by him getting ready to go somewhere.

James looked at her confused Harry had just been to the doctor so what on Earth was she talking about. He then looked at Sirius who was currently playing with Harry and not paying any attention to what either of Harry's parents were doing.

" Ummm Lily, we just took Harry to the Doctor last week, why does he need to go again." James asked walking out of the living room where Sirius was playing with Harry and into the Bedroom where Lily was fixing her hair.

Lily stopped what she was doing and turned around and stared at James, " I want you to take him to a Muggle doctor James." She said finishing her hair; she was getting ready to apparate when James stopped her with another question.

" Why does he need to see two doctors?" he asked handing her a light blue cloak that she almost forgot.

" I just think it would be better for him to see a Muggle doctor too, James." She explained glancing around the room to see if she had forgotten anything else, she decided that she hadn't and walked over and kissed James on the cheek. " I'll be back in three hours, try not to blow up the house." With that she apparated and left James standing in the room with his mouth dropped open.

" I don't know why she says that every time she leaves me here, I only did that once and it wasn't my fault I just can't cook," Muttered James under his breath.

James looked in the mirror, which was telling him to get a hair cut so his hair wouldn't be so messy; he messed up his hair even more to annoy the mirror and walked out of the bedroom.

He found Sirius laying on the floor with Harry in the living room, he had turned into Padfoot and was nudging Harry with his nose and running around in circles making Harry laugh.

James smiled and watched his best-friend play with Harry, after watching for a bit he walked off to pack a bag to bring to the doctor's.

He walked back in the room and said, " Come on Sirius we have to go."

Sirius instantly transformed back and looked at James for a second and laughed. Which caused James to look at him weirdly for a few seconds. " Your not kidding are you?" asked Sirius not laughing anymore, " You mean Lily actually trusts us to take Harry somewhere?"

" How do you know we're taking Harry somewhere?" asked James picking up a hat and throwing it at Sirius, " you might want to wear that, Padfoot, you're starting to look like Snape." Said James teasing Sirius because he hadn't had a shower yet.

Sirius face was priceless it was stuck somewhere between disbelief and disgusted. " You 're kidding," said Sirius with the same expression he grabbed a piece of his hair and looked at it. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and glared at James, " That wasn't funny." He said still glaring at James who was trying his best not to laugh at his best friend.

James bent over and scooped Harry off the floor, " Come on Harry we have to take you to the doctor."

Sirius, who had decided to wear the hat anyway, was putting it on his head when James said that, " Didn't you take him to the doctor sometime last week?" he asked.

" Yeah, but Lily wants me to take him to a muggle doctor." Said James transfiguring Harry's shirt, which had a snitch flying around on it into a muggle shirt with a football on it.

Sirius obviously had the same idea about the hat that James had given him because now instead of a cap it was a cowboy hat. Sirius also transfigured the rest of his clothes into something that a cowboy would wear and waited not so patiently for James get Harry ready.

" Uh Padfoot," said James looking at his clothing, " why are you dressed like that?"

Sirius looked down at his clothes, " what is there something wrong with them?" he asked twirling around trying to look at the back of his clothes.

"No, not really but most people don't dress like that Sirius, not even muggles." Explained James walking over to the table and picking up a piece of paper that had a doctor's name and address on it she also left some muggle money on the table next to it.

" So," said Sirius not caring, " I like this outfit." He proclaimed stubbornly causing James to sigh.

" You do know that the muggles are going to think your crazy." Said James

" Everyone thinks I'm crazy now too." Sirius reminded James.

" No everyone knows your crazy Sirius." Said James walking over to the door with Harry in one arm and the other one he had keys to a car and the address, he had already thrown the bag he packed up at Sirius.

Sirius decided to be immature and instead of retaliating using words he stuck out his tongue at James, which caused Harry to giggle, and walked over to the door with Harry's bag on his shoulder and shut the door behind him.

It had been a while and neither James nor Sirius had said anything, well at least not to each other Sirius had been talking non-stop to Harry almost the whole thirty minutes they had been in the car.

They finally stopped and got out. James got Harry out of his car seat, which James thought was ridiculous because it was green and Lily wouldn't let him transfigure it, so it would have the Gryffindor house symbol on it.

Sirius also got out of the car and looked at it he shook his head at the car, it was a dark green color almost black, but just green enough so you could tell it wasn't black and Lily wouldn't let James paint it or change it.

" Well, we're here." Said James looking around not seeing the reason for being here, the doctor they took him to last week, a middle-aged witch who was very nice had told them that Harry was one of the healthiest babies she had ever seen so what was Lily worried about.

" Yeah," said Sirius a mischievous look on his face, " Now let's see how many weird looks I can get."

" Sirius." Said James exasperated, " you dressed like that just so you would get weird looks."

Sirius just nodded because some people had indeed stopped and stared at him. James shook his head and smiled at his friend and almost had to drag Sirius into the Doctor's office because he had got into a staring contest with a muggle who was looking at Sirius with her mouth wide open and had dropped the bags she was carrying.

They walked into the Doctor's office after he had tore Sirius away from his staring contest and the only thing you could hear was clink, clink, clink.

" Padfoot, mate, I think the spurs are over doing it." Said James as he walked up to sign Harry in, it was a good thing he had taken muggle studies and listen to Lily talk about muggle things or he wouldn't have known to do that.

Sirius' attire was bad, but to make it worse every one in the waiting room was quiet and staring at not just Sirius, but him too. ' My hair doesn't look that bad does it?' James thought to himself when everyone was staring at him.

They waited for about thirty minutes before they got called back and everybody began staring again.

" Hey James, do you know why everyone was staring at us like that?" asked Sirius puzzled he knew he looked weird and he was used to people looking at him like he was strange, but some of those people looked angry and afraid.

" I don't know Padfoot, I thought maybe it was my hair, but maybe not." Answered James with a shrug Harry meanwhile was trying to grab his wand from his pocket.

Harry had finally managed and with a triumphant giggle he waved it around and then pointed it at Sirius, who's hair turned instantly bright pink and his cowboy outfit disappeared and instantly and dress replaced it.

James who was talking to Sirius when it happened almost fainted, but then discovered that Harry, who was now laughing so much he had started hiccupping, had taken his wand.

Sirius had caught sight of himself in the mirror and looked horrified, he had bright pink hair and a dress, with cowboy boots.

James was able to transfigure Sirius' clothes back to normal before the Doctor arrived but his hair had to stay pink.

The doctor walked in and cleared his throat and then looked at James who still had his wand pointed at Sirius. " Umm, sir why do you have a stick in your hand?" asked the Doctor confused and then his mouth dropped open at the sight of Sirius' hair.

James thought quick and came up with a passable excuse, " I have a dog and I was playing fetch with him before I left and must have stuck the stick in my pocket I just now pulled it out of my pocket." He said hoping the doctor would be convinced.

The doctor just nodded still staring at Sirius who looked very odd in a brown cowboy hat, with a black leather vest and a brown shirt, with light beige pants and dark reddish brown cowboy boots with spurs and bright pink hair.

" Okay," said the doctor recovering his voice, " why is your hair, umm, pink?" questioned the doctor not wanting to believe his eyes.

" I tried to die my hair blonde and it didn't quite work," said Sirius with a sheepish grin, " I'm going to have it fixed after this."

" Okay well I don't believe I've introduced my self, I'm Doctor Nathaniel Brooks, " Said Doctor Brooks extending his hand to James and then Sirius.

" Now," he said seeing Harry who had just stopped hiccupping a few seconds ago, " who is this cute little man?"

" This is Harry." Said James proudly smiling.

Doctor Brooks bent over and inspected Harry for a second, " he looks just fine to me, so why is he here?" asked Dr. Brooks smiling at Harry.

" Well he needs a checkup, I think." Said James looking at Sirius who was glaring at Harry for turning his hair pink. James smiled, it wouldn't last Sirius couldn't stay mad at Harry even if he turned his hair pink permanently.

" Okay," said Dr. Brooks taking Harry from James and laying him down on the bed he began looking him over he looked at his eyes and nose his throat he examined his hands and feet. " Well, Mr. Potter he seems fine to me, where did you adopt him from, then?" he asked bending back over to look in Harry's ears, which he had forgotten to do.

James mouth dropped open and he was speechless and Sirius was also speechless but he was moving his mouth like a fish.

The doctor turned around at the sudden silence and found both James and Sirius gaping at him speechless. " Well, you did adopt him didn't you I mean two men can't have a child."

Harry meanwhile was amusing himself by wishing the doctor's hair was a funny color too and it deeply amused him when it turned light orange.

James and Sirius were to preoccupied stuttering and trying to explain that they didn't notice that Harry had turned the Doctor's hair orange.

James finally managed to explain that neither he nor Sirius was gay. " Sirius is Harry's Godfather," explained James to a now flustered Doctor embarrassed over his mistake, " My wife is at a job interview right now and wasn't able to come with me so Sirius came instead." Said James his face red.

Sirius was still gaping and moving his mouth like a fish, but now his face matched his hair.

" I'm Sorry," Dr. Brooks was finally able to stammer out, " but I just assumed that you and he were." He cut off deciding it was probably just better to keep quiet.

Sirius apparently now thought it was extremely funny and started laughing and James followed suit, " Well," Sirius managed to gasp out between laughs, " now we know why everyone was staring at us."

Dr. Brooks was thinking they were probably staring at Sirius' hair more than anything but laughed along with them anyway.

" So, how old is Harry?" asked Dr. Brooks trying to calm everything down and forget about his embarrassing assumption.

"He'll be one in two weeks," said James smiling again.

" Ah well he's the right size for a one year old and he seems healthy enough, just bring him back if he gets sick and if he doesn't I'll see him in six months for a check-up." Said Dr. Brooks hoping that they didn't come back soon he was in no rush to be embarrassed like that again.

James and Sirius thanked Dr. Brooks and watched him leave; they never noticed his orange hair.

As soon as they doctor exited the room Sirius turned his hair back to it's normal color and went and tickled Harry.

James soon saved him and they walked out of the Doctor's office and back into the waiting room where everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at them once again. Sirius had, had enough of being stared at for one day and smiled and announced loud enough for the whole waiting room to hear, " We're not gay people so just look away and mind your own business.

Several people scurried to make them selves look like they had never been staring in the first place, some people turned red and cleared their throats and one person even muttered something about them being in denial as Sirius and James walked by. Sirius wanted to Hex the man, but James stopped him and stirred Sirius towards the car.

James hurriedly, put Harry in his car seat securely and got in the drivers seat and drove off.

As soon as they got driving Sirius charmed the windows so that no one could see in and transfigured his clothes into something normal for once and muttered something about stupid muggles.

James just shook his head and sighed he took the charm off the windows so the muggles wouldn't think they were crazy, he turned towards Sirius and laughed because he looked shocked.

" I can't believe that Doctor thought we were gay, Prongs." He said he was still shocked over it and he couldn't believe that anyone would think that.

" It's probably what it looked like to him and everyone in the waiting room though Sirius," he started laughing at the look on Sirius' face when he said that. "Wait till I tell Lily, I don't think she'll let us take Harry to the doctor again." Said James

Sirius looked at him like he was crazy, " after that I'm never going near a muggle doctor again." Said Sirius crossing his arms over his chest and staring out the window.

" Awwww what's the matter Padfoot did the mean old Doctor insult you?" said James teasing his friend.

" Yes," said Sirius deciding to tease right back, " I mean, if I was going to be gay with someone it wouldn't be with you," said Sirius pausing for a dramatic effect. "It would be with someone like…Snape."

James nearly wrecked the car he was so shocked, after a few seconds he was sure he wasn't hearing things, " What!" he nearly yelled at the top of his lungs. " Why Snape," he asked looking totally repulsed at the thought.

Sirius was almost dying he was laughing so hard, " because it's so crazy that no one would believe it. Well maybe not maybe some one like Moony." Said Sirius causing James to almost wreck again.

James took a couple of deep breaths and kept his eyes on the road, " Do I want to know why?" he asked wondering what Sirius was up to.

" Because he's smart," was the only answer Sirius gave him.

" Okay so you would rather be gay with Moony or Snape, then with me is there a reason behind this." Asked James pulling into the makeshift driveway in the grass next to his house.

" Because you're taken," said Sirius laughing at the look of Horror on James' face.

" SIRIUS BLACK YOU HAD BETTER BE JOKING!" Yelled James taking a few steps away from his friend after he parked and jumped out of the car.

" Of course I'm joking," said Sirius rolling on the grass, " besides you started it Potter." Said Sirius transfiguring a flower into an egg, he snuck up behind James when he was getting Harry out of the car seat and threw it at his head. A yell and a few curse words later Sirius and James were both covered with eggs and Harry was watching happily.

While James and Sirius were arguing and rolling around in the grass they had completely forgotten about Harry, Harry however did not forget about his father's wand and crawled over and took it from him as he was lying in the grass catching his breath. As soon as Harry picked it up he jabbed his father with it in the side causing James' skin to turn purple.

James at first blamed Sirius and turned Sirius' skin green and sliver to annoy him, but then realized that Harry had gotten his wand again. " You just can't wait until you get one of your own can you?" he asked Harry who obviously didn't answer him.

James picked up Harry after storing his wand in his pocket where Harry couldn't get it.

Sirius got up and started to walk in the house after James put turned and looked at the car, " Hey, James," he hollered at his friends back still looking at the car.

" What?" he asked turning around Harry had now found something else to do and was pulling on his father's hair.

" Lily has to let you paint the car now." Said Sirius smiling, " it's got egg all over it."

Sirius may think that was funny put Lily wouldn't she would skin him alive and she would just find a way to fix it. " No she won't Sirius, she kill me and she'll kill you too for helping make it that way. Now come on before she gets home and kills us for making everything sticky too."

So Sirius followed James reluctantly in the house he really didn't want to stick around and wait for Lily to get home especially when it was his fault her Car was covered in eggs.

James had given Harry a bath and then gotten a shower and made Sirius do the same. They, well he managed to get the egg off of the car while Sirius played with Harry as Padfoot in the yard.

They were sitting in the house talking when Lily got home Harry was in his crib asleep.

" So how was the Doctor's visit?" asked Lily putting her stuff down on the table and transfiguring her dress into jeans and a t-shirt.

James and Sirius both started laughing at mention of the Doctor, but they both refused to tell Lily what happened.

" What?" she asked looking back and forth between the two of them, " what did I miss?" she asked worried that Sirius had done something he shouldn't have.

" Nothing Lily," said James smiling, " nothing to worry about just something the doctor said."

" It wasn't bad was it?" she asked worried about Harry.

" Well," said Sirius trying his best not to laugh, " it depends on how you look at it."

Lily just looked at the both of them then shrugged deciding that if it was something bad they would tell her and she would probably figure it out later. She walked away to go upstairs to see how Harry was doing leaving James and Sirius laughing in the living room.


End file.
